After reading so many stories about how gays don't deserve marriage or protection from hate crimes, about people all over the world badly beaten or murdered because of their sexual orientation, I'm beginning to wonder why I ever came out of the closet. Is my life better living it openly and honestly, with the person I love? Yes, of course it is. But so many people in this world hate us... people who don't even know we exist HATE us, despise us and condemn us because homosexuality is the devil's work, unnatural and disgusting. If I'd never come out of the closet, at least the only person who'd hate me would be me.

I am SO glad today is Friday... Still, it's been hell.

ESPECIALLY when your supervisor takes the day off without telling you. This happens a lot more frequently than it should. I don't blame her ... She worked from home for 30 years. You're not going to shove her into a 12x15 office all day, every day.

Still, I'd love it, if she wouldn't do it on days when things are really hectic. People are demanding things from HER left and right, and I'm the only one available. I don't know what files she was working on, and I don't know where she kept them, or who to send them to.

For instance... A (demanding) co-worker called me up this morning to say that our client decided they didn't want the ad my supervisor designed for them. She had given them three choices. They chose the first one initially, but now they wanted number three. She wanted to know if I could go through my supervisor's computer, find the file and email it to the client with the changes they wanted.

OK ... Well, first and foremost, my supervisor uses a Macbook Pro and takes it with her everywhere she goes, so it's not here. MAYBE she left the file on the external hard drive. Maybe it's on the shared network server. I don't know. I didn't build the file, I don't even know who exactly the point of contact for our client is. So, the best I can do (and I tell her this) is call my supervisor and tell her what's up.

I call her up, and she has no idea what I'm talking about. What file? What ad? Which client? Number three? It obviously wasn't sparking any flames in her brain, so she just said she would call the (demanding) co-worker directly and ask her what she wanted.

Great. Fantastic. At least I won't have to deal with this, since I already had work on two other projects that she left unfinished and on tight deadlines.

Fast forward to an hour ago. I finally finished all my work and all my supervisor's work. Relief.

And the phone rings. Again, it's the (demanding) co-worker. She wanted to know if I got everything to the client that they needed. Ummm, no. I haven't heard anything from the client. I tell her that my supervisor didn't know which file she was talking about, and that she would call her directly. "Didn't she call you?"

"No. I just saw that they still needed this ad. It needed some changes on it. They wanted the third option."

"Well, I don't know. I never heard anything else about it, and (my supervisor) didn't know anything about it, so she said she was going to call you. I don't know... maybe she called the client."

She kind of chuckles, then says in a really passive agressive way, "Well, I'll try to make of that what I can." After a tremendously sarcastic, "Thaaaanks," she hangs up.

WTF does she want from me? I've never even SEEN the files she's referring to. Does she want me to magically KNOW what the client wanted changed on this mystery file? Did she want me to send it to the client, whose contact information SHE NEVER GAVE ME? I effing TOLD her that I didn't have any clue what these ads were for, and that my supervisor is the one who would handle it. What more can I do?

It's one of those things that I can feel is going to have repercussions, even though it wasn't in my power to handle. Maybe if I was given the client's name and email address .... maybe if I was forwarded the email my co-worker got. I dunno.

OK... So it's been a million years since I last posted, but I decided to renew my paid LJ account anyway. :P

Maybe I'll actually use it at some point within the next year.

It's happened again... I was randomly reading the word "catastrophe" (in an article about the US financial crisis), when Hooverphonic's lyrics to "50 Watt" came on over the airwaves: "Oh no it's not a catastrophe \\ Although it's not how it used to be \\ We can go on \\ Ignore the need to fall"

Spookular.

My dad forwarded me an e-mail saying Bill Cosby should be our first black president -- not Obama. The entire message was supposedly written by Cosby, saying how black people should blame themselves for their status, not white people. And the last sentence said, "It's not about color... It's about behavior!"

The entire e-mail was a crock of shit, until that last sentence, which is EXACTLY why the first black president should be Obama.

I hate that my dad buys into this bullshit that he gets in forwards from his brother. His brother is a 60-something year old retiree on a fixed income living in backwoods Texas. He speaks with a wheezy bumpkin accent and pronounces his last name Purr-ez -- not Pérez. Don't even TRY to pronounce it with a Mexican accent, or he'll bite your head off. He's been spouting anti-Obama horseshit since day 1, and it's really starting to piss me off -- not because it's just utter nonsense, but because he's doing his best to influence my dad's thinking. And it's working.

( The full text of this stupid e-mail... )

It probably wasn't even written by Bill Cosby. It sounds like such a waspy judgmental view of entire population.

BTW, what kind of behavior has Dr. Cosby had in the past?
http://articles.latimes.com/2006/nov/09/news/wk-cosby9

Happy birthday to astheashesfall  and clutter !!! May it be sweet and full of sugary goodness.

So, thanks to morningstar4, I have set upon the task of matching 30 of my LJ friends with a given description. BUT, only I can see the description, and you will only see your name on the list. Aren't you soooo curious to find out how you've been labeled?

Da Rules!
1. There are 30 questions.
2. Next to each number, write only the name of the person who fits. (I don't care about this ... I'm putting little hints to suck you in!)
3. Answer one question with one name. (Some of my people were repeated, but who cares!)
4. Don't tell the questions to anyone who isn't doing the meme.

1. strangelittleme  (We are all her servants)
2. nessalovesluis  ("ahh longatime! longatime!")
3. macsuibhne  (Who wouldn't?)
4. micaturtle  (Yes... definitely.)
5. animatrocor  (Hehehe... yeah.)
6. lady_ganesh  (Definitely!)
7. ahsweape  (I witnessed it firsthand!)
8. flaquita  (we're both newsies)
9. morningstar4  (we've done it before! ::wink wink::)
10. horsetechie  (well, I should hope so!)
11. brinatello  (even if they are mostly voice actors!)
12. rosefox8  (Because she is!)
13. silenageige  (Obviously -- She was in a Culture Club music video!)
14. corporate_ken  (We'll go with the latter)
15. clutter  (mwahahahaha)
16. lindentreeisle  (lawyer!!)
17. tokka  (still in his terrible2z)
18. smiths101  (I can't decide which!)
19. niaskywalk  (accomplishing great things day by day!)
20. skeletoncrew  (in a good way)
21. I'm gonna have to say neenjacowboy  :P
22. This does not compute... ???
23. astheashesfall  (Because she was!)
24. black_wax  (He teaches in Lyford for godsakes!) ;)
25. overoceans  (Seems? I KNOWS!)
26. greenwillow27  (Oh I got this one!)
27. overoceans  (yes yes!)
28. roseangelo  (Best at it EVAR!!)
29. overoceans  (where are youuuu?!)

So there you have it.... This took me hours upon hours because ... well, it's kind of difficult to pigeonhole people that way. Anyway, if you see your name (or even if you don't) and you're interested, let me know. I'll only send you the questions if you are going to participate.

Ciao!

I have over $4000 in my bank account, and I'm thinking of buying a Macbook Pro. With the school discount, it'll be $1799. Plus the service plan. Plus the "free" ipod. That'll tack on a few hundred more, but I'll get a $299 refund for the ipod.

I want the Mac because it'll be invaluable as a professional once I graduate. But at the same time, I have a decent working computer, even if it IS a PC. I don't have to buy any text books this semester, but I do have to buy supplies for printmaking and for piecing together my portfolio. Also, having money in my account right now is a good way to pay for next year's trip to San Diego. It'd be about $500-$600 just to get out there and stay a few days.

I'm also paying $200 less in rent per month, and I'm not driving as much either, which saves on gas. But my insurance premium went up $10 because I changed my address (stupid!). I also have a $30 monthly bill for internet, and pay half for electricity, gas and water services. Except for electricity, these are bills I never had before.

I'm not eating out at much, nor have I been drinking/going out often at all (On the road to straight-edge? More on that another time!) But I also owe Brad $185 for the trip to Mexico. My sister's wedding is coming up, and I have to rent a tux, and probably a hotel since I'll have friends coming with me, and there's no room at my parents' house.

I would use the computer for my last semester of school work, and all of my professional work following that. I could use it to display interactive features of my portfolio at Exit Review, and I could take it anywhere.

But it's so much money!

What do I do???

Well, the day has come. This'll be my last post on American soil for the next month. We'll see if I ever get the time to post while I'm in Europe.

Hm... It's not like I posted all that often anyway.

May is turning out to be the BEST MONTH EVAR!!

Last weekend's trip to Dallas was amazing. We got to hang out with Rocky and Stephen, and the most insanely awesome show ever -- RADIOHEAD! It was seriously, the best show I've seen ... and I've seen a lot of shows. Bjork, Regina Spektor, Death Cab, Decemberists, I could go on and on, but none of them were even close to being as awesome as Radiohead.

Yeah. Amazing.

So, of course, there had to be a downside. Vicky's car crapped out on us, and we had to make a detour to Fort Worth so her uncle could fix it. Funny thing -- no one took me seriously when I said it sounded like the starter was shot, and it turned out that's exactly what it was. Looks like I know a little more about cars than people give me credit for.

But still, we got home late Monday, and Tuesday evening Brad came over to spend the week with me. We had a lot of fun just hanging out and being close. It's gonna be tough on the both of us when I'm in Italy.

Thursday, we went to Aquarena Springs. I've lived in San Marcos for nearly three years, and I have never been to the nature park. The last time I went was when I was four, I think. Anyway, it was so cool... We walked along the Wetlands Boardwalk, and watched the wildlife. Tilapia are actually really beautiful fish. There were egrets and lots of turtles. It was great.

But then we went to the actual park, which was really eerie. I don't know if it's usually open, but we were there in the late afternoon, and since the park is school owned and everyone's gone for the summer, the place was deserted. The buildings are straight out of the 60s, and there's this tower that howls with the wind. The paint on the lamp posts is peeling, and the cables that used to ferry the cable cars back and forth just sway high above the river. It was so strange.

Friday night, we met up with Vicky and Kristin and went downtown. Brad and Kristin had to go to the show that her ex was playing in (The band's name is Mom). She went to get closure, ended up getting drizzunk, and feeling somewhat worse than before. But she stayed along with her friend Daniel, and Brad met up with Vicky and me. We'd already had a few beers at Creekside, then went to Side Bar, met up with the boy Vicky's interested in, and then went to Beauty Bar just to show our support for Mitchell. He took our photo, then Annie Ray took our photo, and then Brad and I split.

We had one last night together before my dad arrived. Brad went back to San Antonio this afternoon, and my dad and his friend arrived around 6. The three of us went to Logan's Roadhouse for some BBQ, and I came home to pack.

And now, I'm here blogging when I should be in bed!

So I'll leave you with that. I hope everyone has a great month. I'll try to get online as often as I can, but I'm one of the few on the trip who doesn't have a laptop! Boooo. Anyway, I'll be busy sampling the Tuscan lifestyle.

Ciao!

.....

PS. The Wikipedia campaign has gotten noticed again. This time, by another German blog:
 http://grünschnabel-online.de/node/91

PSS... We saw a dead guy in the gutter last night. We were walking from our parking spot down Red River, and there was a guy who looked like he was sleeping in the gutter. I thought... "It's too early for bums to be asleep. And bums don't usually sleep in the ACTUAL gutter." The people ahead of us were already on the phone with 911, and by the time we'd walked half a block, the place with littered with cops, fire trucks and paramedics.

PSSSS... I bought a new camera! A Sony H10. It's sah-weeeet!

PSSPSPSPSPS..... I got all A's and made the Dean's List! Woot!